12 years ago
by shslhikikomori
Summary: Two-shot that takes place in volume 9 of the DRRR! novels, Raira Academy setting. Nakura stabs Shinra, but Izaya takes the incident as a selfish of opportunity of his own. Rated T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: wow my first actual serious fanfic sorry if i'm bad at writing orz. bold equals thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara.**

* * *

Even the cold Ikebukuro air sweeping down his spine couldn't numb his pain.

His hand had splinters and pink cuts from punching that wooden telephone pole.

He didn't care.

But his face still was in a tight uncontrollable grin. The stinging feeling didn't bother him at all, even as the cuts on his knuckles were brushed against with the cold Ikebukuro air.

The feeling embedded in him was frozen nostalgia. The nostalgia just made his stupid tight grin even more ridiculous.

Seems that the air just couldn't possess the ability to numb his emotions and lingering nostalgia either.

Stimulation in his mind and heart just kept growing bigger and bigger without a care, like cancer cells.

The emotions from 12 years ago.

* * *

**12 years ago**

The powerful impact on his side made Shinra issue a strange cry of "Wait-ahhhhhhhh!"

The other effect it had was to spill blood everywhere in the Biology Room.

As soon as he saw the knife in his hand covered in blood, Nakura's face lost its color -

"Ah...eh? N-No, it's not like that, I, I was just, I was just trying to threaten him…to threaten Izaya..."

Nakura probably didn't want to realize what he had just done. His lips trembled harder than ever as he shook his head desperately.

"S-stop... STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"

The boy let out a scream and ran out of the Biology Room, running as fast as he could.

"I'll call an ambulance.." Izaya said calmly as he took out his cellphone and dialed.

Izaya then rushed to Shinra who was already fallen. Shinra had ordered Izaya to get a roll or duct tape. Shinra began to skillfully roll the tape around his stabbed side, to help stop the bleeding, all while _smiling_ at Izaya.

"Hahah. Looks like I'm, not, carved out to be a hero...after all." sighed Shinra.

"Wouldn't it be better for you to not speak?.." Izaya questioned.

"I was thinking...that my loved one would praise me if I became a hero."

"Oi oi..."

"It's fine. Wounds like these don't kill you that easily. My insides look like they are intact. It was a miracle that he didn't hurt my peritoneum...uhhh…"

As he watched Shinra prattle on with a deadly pale face, what Izaya felt was -

_Envy._

He had always thought of himself as being in a position to observe humans and therefore standing on a higher pedestal than those around him. But unlike him, Kishitani Shinra was living in a different world in the real sense of the word. He had put himself in the way of harm from a knife without hesitation. He did it out of neither his sense of right and wrong nor his instinct, but simply a desire to earn someone else's approval. Was it in any way an easy thing to do? It was true that love made one blind, but what Shinra did was simply not normal...

Shinra's standards were far departed from any other human's, even including Izaya's.

"Hey, Shinra..."

As his classmate groaned in pain, Izaya asked in a calm voice..

"Uhh... Wha?"

"Hey, can you tell them that I did it?_ Can you tell them that I'm the one who caused that wound?_"


	2. Chapter 2

The two boys sat quietly in the Principals office, holding opposite expressions on their face as the principal talked on the phone.

Nakura didn't want that phone conversation to end, he felt as if his doom was coming and hell was about to begin.

Although for Izaya, his face showed indifference and that was all.

The phone was soon put down, and goodbyes were said.

"You too - we're getting mixed answers from people. Who did it? Who stabbed Shinra Kishitani? Shinra says it was you, Izaya, but others who were members of the Biology Club say it was also you, Nakura. Now, we need the final answer. Who did it?"

Nakura froze.

**"What?"**

**"Why?.. Why did he blame Izaya?!"**

The nervous boy focused his gaze onto the floor and began to drown in his cold sweats, quivering, and confusion.

The principal glared at Nakura.

"Nakura, is there something you want to say?"

**"...!"**

"I.. I.." Nakura stuttered.

The boy was almost at his brinks of cracking.

"I just..!"

"Hey..." Izaya interrupted

**"..?!"**

_"Nakura would never do something like that." _The other boy interrupted

Izaya began to calmly hold a small sympathetic smile while distancing himself from eye-contact with Nakura.

Nakura slowly lifted his head with wide eyes, all while looking at Izaya.

"Nakura would never do such a thing.. He would never stab someone and_ upset his mother and father like that_. So, I guess it's game-over for me. I hate to admit it, but I was the one who stabbed Shinra. I stabbed Shinra Kishitani."

**"...!"**

**"What the hell..?!"**

**"Is Izaya mocking me!?"**

It was almost as if it was in a mocking tone. It was frustrating to feel anger at a time like this for Nakura.

All this anger, confusion, and nervousness.

"Nakura, is this correct?" The principal asked Nakura.

Nakura slowly placed his gaze onto the principal, but then focused his gaze nervously back onto the floor. With sweaty palms clenched, he uttered with all his might..

"Y-yes, sir..."

"Then that settles that. Izaya, you stay. Nakura, you are dismissed."

Nakura lifted himself from his seat with weak legs and headed himself toward the door, giving one last glance to Izaya.

The other boy didn't return his gaze.

The door opened.

Out went Nakura as a freeman as someone took his place.

* * *

**12 years later, present day**

Izaya relaxed at his desk as he skimmed through his contact list with his right bandaged hand.

"Nakura... Nakura... Nakura... Oh, there it is!"

He began to dial the number on his phone.

...

A timid voice began to speak from the other line.

"H-hello?... Izaya..?"

"Yo, Nakura. I need your help again. Can you help me out, buddy?"

Nakura could feel Izaya's stupid little grin through the phone.

"It's not like I can refuse, anyways."

"I'm aware, it's your fault all of this happened, anyways, hahaha. It's actually kind of funny, don't you think?"

"Whatever you say, Izaya.. I don't think you'll ever understand anyways."

"... Understand what?" Izaya questioned.

Izaya's tone was no longer mockingly playful, but rather serious.

"...I-It doesn't matter anymore, forget it. Anyways, what are you planning for me again?"

"What is there to understand?"

Izaya's tone became serious.

"You'll never be able to understand how I felt that day. It's the past and I can't change it, so whatever."

"Oh, I see..."

"I don't think so."

"Nakura, you've got it all wrong, man. You must think I'm empathizing you, right? I'm just looking right through you. You are pretty see through, after all."

"No I'm not! You're just a heartless bastard making me do your dirty work!" Nakura retorted sharply.

"I see right through you like glass. You're those types of humans that spew out worthless garbage like, 'people don't understand me', right? That's exactly why you're just so easy to manipulate - almost as if it's not even fun anymore." Izaya sighed.

"..."

"Hahaha. You could've just asked for help on that day, 12 years ago, you know."

"I didn't ask for help! Shinra blamed the stabbing incident on you... You and Shinra helped me for nothing! I didn't even ask!"

"Since when did I count as 'help'? Haha! What I meant was that you should of asked an adult figure or a friend for a loan. To be honest, I didn't help you at all. In fact, all I did was take advantage of the situation you were in. It was a good opportunity, so why not?"

"Stop acting dumb, Izaya! You know clearly I was helpless back then! I stole my dad's money and put it into your gambling ring! I couldn't turn to anyone!"

Nakura clenched his fist tightly with anger.

"My my, getting worked up, aren't we?"

That mockingly playful tone introduced itself back into the phone conversation.

"Nakura - you do realize this is all your fault. But do you realize clearly why it's your fault?"

"..."

"Of course you don't know. I'll tell you right now, it's your fault because of the choices you made. You could've just asked for help from your parents, but you ended up foolishly resorting to stealing from your old man's wallet. It's because of the choices you've made that turned you helpless, then resulting in you being at fault."

"But, but this suffering.. The suffering I'm going through now, this is definitely not my fault, Izaya. It's fucking yours."

"Considerate it a gift. Would you rather live your life pathetically guilty for stabbing Shinra and me taking your punishment? I had to be put into protective custody for your doing. Years of my life being taken away for something I didn't even do... You know that's not fair, right? It's common sense, Nakura. Stop looking at yourself as the victim. The suffering that you deserve has barely begun."

"..."

"Anyways, back to the subject.."

Izaya began to think back at what he originally called Nakura for.

"Hey Izaya..."

"...Hm?"

_"Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?"_

Nakura's voice slowly became mysteriously monotone and quiet from the other line.

"What?"

_"Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?"_

"...Why are you asking me that, Nakura? Do I look dead to you? The only way to find out is if you kill yourself. Although your life is _practically worthless_ since you don't even have ownership of your own name, don't do that. I'm not done using you. You still have use."

"Yeah.. You're right about the first part.. Maybe my sins will be forgiven if I even it out."

"Even it out?"

_"...Will I ever be forgiven for stabbing that kid..?"_

"Huh, so you want forgiveness from_ 'that kid'_, Shinra Kishitani?"

"... I just.. That knife to the side... It wasn't - it wasn't meant for him! I can't just let me life be toyed at by you while I live my life as a guilty man.."

"Oi, he doesn't care about you, your existence, or your forgiveness. Shinra Kishitani is a very different human being from most. I can give you his contact information, but I doubt he'd even remember your name, so it would be an utter waste of time."

Izaya heard Nakura sigh from the other line.

"Call me back when you're not so melodramatic over the past, Nakura..."

The other line of Nakura's ended.

_There comes the mocking tone, and there it went. The same mocking tone from 12 years ago._


End file.
